Being Afraid From Being Afraid
March 8th, 2006Some important aspect of fear is that it is really paradoxical and recursive.Let’s imagine any situation that brings fear to you. For instance, it may be a fear of separation from your spouse. Now try to realize that it is not something that happened yet. We know this so far.
Now, try to realize what you are dreaming about during you have this fear.
Most probably, you will easily realize that you dream about how afraid you will be.
This is what you are afraid from. You are afraid form being afraid.
You may say that this isn’t fear, this is just the pain of isolation, suffering that would come with the reality of separation. I urge you to try to differentiate fear from anger, anger from hate, hate from suffering and then again fear from the pain of losing a loved person. How much different are those feelings?
You will see that those aren’t much different from each other.
Fear is a very fundamental emotion that we name it differently while there are different uneasy situations. Therefore, fear has many sides, many faces, however fear is fear. Its different faces do not make fear something else, fear with a mask is not any other emotion then fear itself.
Give it a try, dive into it when you are afraid of something. You’ll see that what you are afraid from is fear itself.
Feel free to ask and comment.
March 23rd, 2006 at 10:13 pm
Interesting thought. I believe it brings up a deeper issue with many of us. To address this, first, a question… assuming the fear is from fear, or if the fear is from fear that is from fear. If the original situation, in this case a spouse, did not exist then would you still fear? If no then even though you fear the fear, the cause of it would be the relationship thus it is relationship that is the problem and this article would not amount t much. But I do not believe this is the case for many of us.
Many of us fear because we are accustomed to it. If we did not wast our time fearing we would be forced to address our issues and concerns head on. This gives a possibility of failure. We are much more comfortable with fear than failure. Fear is something we create and control. But if we were to actually address the issues we fear we would do our best and the failure would not be up to us. Thus, in out minds, it is easier to deal with discomfort that we can control than the possibility of failure and pain that we cannot control.
March 25th, 2006 at 1:01 pm
I agree with James on the fact that we can control fear the discomfort of fear however I don’t (want) to believe that this will bring more comfort in comparison to the possibility of failure and pain.
I believe that we would be less stressed if we are going to deal with our issues instead of paying time and attention to fear and anxiety.
Nowadays I try to concentrate on choices. We all have options and I sometimes think that anxiety and depression are also options we choose as if we are in a multiple choice exam 🙂
weird though…
I strongly hope that psychology would be developed faster than it is developing now.
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December 5th, 2008 at 5:41 am
This is all very informing for me. I just had a conversation with a friend and her sister is having some issues like this. She was 9 when he father passed away. After this she went into a “baby stage.” (Was afraid to sleep with the light off… would freak out if she heard a bump outside etc.) Soon after she grew out of this “baby stage.” But a couple years later she was in a dangerous car wreck and she reverted to this “baby stage.”
**NOTE** Her father was killed as the result of a car wreck.
After she grew out of this stage again after her accident encounter, I was with her in a 16 passenger van when a tire blew on the interstate. No one was injured, just shook up a bit. But the young girl went back to her “baby stage.” She would panic when she was left alone in a room. She wont sleep alone. Any small noise is a traumatic scare. Any knock at the door makes her jump in fear.
Here is what I believe is significant: she will often say shes afraid, but when asked what she is afraid of she replies “I don’t know.” After receiving some information from a friend this was the result: She is afraid that the devil is after her.
Now I am a pastor of a southern baptist church. I must admit that demonic presence isn’t the most commonly discussed topic in a baptist church. But this is my opinion from what my bible teaches me: I believe some of these psychologically based symptoms we observe in some people are not the result of a mental disorder, a psychological disease or any other diagnoses, but the result of spiritual attack. I know, this isn’t a forum for biblical discussions. But keep this in mind: Is their the possibility that some of these unexplainable conditions that just don’t seem to add up are the result of someone much larger that you and I? I believe this young girl is experiencing just that. I believe the devil knows her weakness of fear and he is using that to keep he form accepting Christ into her life.
As important as psychology is to our society, we must never forget that sometimes the explanation of the unexplainable is actually rather simple.